Good morning from California, where I am writing in Kathleen Kiddo’s living room, as the sun rises on a Saturday morning. My final morning of a three-day visit. As I drink the first sips of my nespresso, I gather my thoughts by the light of two candles. One, a typical candle in a glass jar with three wicks. It may be from a local interior boutique, Pottery Barn or even Trader Joe’s, and smells of lavender and “ylang ylang” (oh, California, you always educate me). The other candle reminds me of what Spanish-speaking households often have on an altar or leave at a grave. It says, “Kamala Our Lady of No Holds Barred.” There is evidence of last night’s fun. A karaoke microphone and Thursday’s San Francisco adventure, Thick Nhat Han’s Peace is Every Step on her mid-century classic table.
But this, Kathleen’s dear fans, is not what you wonder about her. I’m sure you wonder, as I did, how is she really. So, with her permission (of course), I will ask her to share this on her blog.
Kathleen Kiddo: the big picture
I’ve known Kathleen* since she was five years old. Literally 90% of our lives. There have been periods where we have lost touch, but she was among my first and closest friends. We loved music, played barbies, explored the creek behind her house and tried to make sense of our little world in Elmira, New York.
Kathleen is much as she always was. Her internal beauty radiates so brightly that the external world sees clearly her compassion and love. She’s the kind of person where you walk into her home, you feel at home. She’s the kind of host where you don’t feel uncomfortable looking through her kitchen cabinets for tea or use the shampoo in the shower. (Or maybe that says more about me, but this isn’t supposed to be about me).
The Kid vs. the Parkinson’s
On the first afternoon, she hadn’t taken “her meds” - which she keeps at the ready 24/7 so she can function. Without them, she is just as impressive. You see the progression of her Parkinson’s Disease. My only reference is this: last year I pulled my back out and ended up in the ER. I couldn’t straighten my back, couldn’t tie my shoes. This is like pulling your back and your legs and your hands and your head and it never ever goes away. But she isn’t letting this beast get the better of her. These few days, she’s not used Parkinson’s as an excuse for anything. In fact, she’s shared her unmedicated self as a reminder of what it’s really like. Just so we know. She may seem fine when the dopamine kicks in, but it’s always there. She finds her meds, takes them and hopes they “do their thang.” What Parkinson’s doesn’t seem to impact - ever - is her uncanny ability to know every movie, every lyric to every song and every name of every person whom we ever encountered in our school system.
Kiddo and the city
But she is amazing. I have visited perfectly healthy people who have far less energy. When I get visitors to New Jersey, more often than not I take them into New York City to show them around. This time I played tourist. Kathleen had so much enthusiasm. We started with checking out where my brother lived in the 1980s. It was a special moment for me. Dino died in 1985 when I was still a teenager. It was during a period of time when Kathleen and I moved in different circles. But she got that this was my personal goal: to revisit that special place. Not everyone understands how monumental a place can be that isn’t on a tourist’s map or a must-try restaurant.
From there, she took me to the Embarcadero where we had a nice al fresco lunch and watched the city walk by. It was a strange experience - seeing San Francisco during Covid. Her favorite gluten-free bakery was closed. The bookstore, too. But we thoroughly enjoyed our salads and refreshing drinks while we shared stories and tried to ignore our nagging cell phones.
A generous Kathleen Kiddo
When we left the restaurant, a musician played and sang to “Sittin’ at the dock of the bay.” Without a thought, she pulled out her wallet and generously gave a tip. Then we danced. (It wasn’t the only time she was actively sharing with others. We gave our leftovers to homeless people and she was the first at our table to remember to tip the musicians at dinner later that night).
In her element
Most of the afternoon was spent exploring fun shops in the Haight. Kathleen was in her element. We explored book stores, vintage clothing shops and some avant garde establishments that my inner-suburban mom wouldn’t let me spend a dime in. But Kathleen is very much her own woman and out came her credit card. She’s going to have a lot of fun when she wears this new garment (but with both buckles and zippers she might want to take her meds before trying it on again). In fact, other than re-lacing her boots, this was the only time during the entire visit that Kathleen requested help dressing.
Kathleen Kiddo’s peeps
The best part of any visit, at least for me, are the people you meet. Of course, Kathleen didn’t disappoint. For example, I got to know an Argentinian who knew even more about movies than Kathleen. “He’s the only one who can go toe-to-toe with me,” is how she described her friend. But in a bookstore in the Mission, I discovered he was just as knowledgeable. It’s no surprise. Kathleen’s got a menagerie of eclectic friends. She always, always had. She gets it from her parents who taught her lessons of love and humility and practiced “love thy neighbor” actively.
Her closest friend is exactly as I hoped. Genuinely kind with a warm smile, she evokes good energy. My only regret is not getting to know her better.
Closing thoughts
What you see from her presence online, you experience in real life. Kathleen’s strength comes from hard work and dedication to fighting every day. (In fact, she humbled me after only a 30-minute boxing workout, and I work out several days a week.) She inspires you without realizing it and shares her challenges without pretence. She is like her writing. Raw, open and warm. It’s been a joy to visit her and I hope to see her again soon.
-Elizabeth Eisinger, October 24, 2020 - Contra Costa County, CA
*I know her as Heather Kennedy, but for her readers’ sake I am referring to her as Kathleen.